After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
