well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize