redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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