i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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