I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
