He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
