I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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