I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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