OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
