Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Green mimosas i think yes
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
