one word: firstdatebathroomanal
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
