____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
