dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize