I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
