Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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