Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
