I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
