Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize