Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
