If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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