Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
two words: eviction party
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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