i don't like sucking hair
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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