writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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