she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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