It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
