i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
