She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
worst night to have a conscience
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
