this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
