Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Soap is not a condiment
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
