Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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