I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
