If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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