did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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