Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
