I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
