thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
