16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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