just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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