in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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