you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
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