no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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