So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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