party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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