Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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