i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
