Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
wow bdsm is so cute
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
