He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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