Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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