Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Sacagawea was the original milf.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
