Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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