very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
