you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
