I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
