never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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