I wish I could punch you in the face.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
