Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
