apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
