if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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