you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
