question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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