why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
