I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
