Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
