She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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