Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize