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just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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